It happened nothing like I pictured, with red-sprayed hair dressed as Ariel dating Prince Eric for the night. On Halloween this year, Jordan and I dressed in costume and made our way to our neighborhood group gathering, where we replaced our normal Monday night schedule with holiday festivities instead. That wasn't all, I just wasn't privy to the rest yet. In order to tell this story properly, it requires backing up a couple of days.
To say this season of life is demanding just hits the tip of the iceberg. Thankfully, we serve a Lord who orchestrates all the workings of this world, including our souls. He inserts cravings within us to rest in Him. This call to rest vies for our attention and should be adhered to, for without it, we are unbalanced.
For example, on October 27, midway through the week, my boyfriend and I met with our pastor and his wife, also my mentor. The four of us spoke about an anticipated season of engagement, and what it looks like to each guard our hearts knowing the Lord had provided us dating up to that point. Frustrations were running high on both ends, but neither one of us knew how to express them. The conversation we had that morning helped call our attention back to God and redirected our focus.
The next four days, I took my time in intentional prayer not mentioning a season of engagement or marriage at all to Jordan. He did the same, taking his personal challenge to heart and not bringing up either season of life to me. We conversed on topics we wouldn't have otherwise hit. God provided insight into this area of our life and prevailed in its entirety.
Day four, on Halloween, Jordan drove us to Flagstaff for the day. One of my favorite things to do is day-date him. I could still feel God moving intentionally in my heart and working us away from conversations of engagement and the like. Our time together was effortless. I cherished our morning hike and breakfast, town square tour and even lunch before driving back into town.
Upon arrival to the Leonhardt's home, Jordan had previously set it up with the homeowners to announce a scavenger hunt for our friends who bring their 3-year-old daughter. With her there, and the key players in place, the plan was started. Cece hunted pumpkins and inside each one held a puzzle piece. Clue cards instructed each part of the scavenger hunt, then instructing her to build the puzzle. The last clue card instructed an adult to flip off the lights as the puzzle revealed a message on the back in glow-in-the-dark lettering.
I was called to the counter at that time for my time to participate. I will never forget looking down to read, "Alex, will you marry me?" on the back of this puzzle. Actually, I was shocked because the first word out of my mouth was, "What?!". By the time I turned back round, Jordan was behind me on one knee. He asked me again in person and OF COURSE I said yes.
The time and thought Jordan pours into our relationships is a definite reflection of the Lord's design for marriage. I am so beyond thrilled to share this season of engagement with this man who honors me as his fiance, and who I hope to one day honor in the same way as my husband.
Monday, November 21, 2016
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
DeLIGHTfully Yours
I am a doer. A go-until-I-drop, overachieving perfectionist.
I am an external processor. A say-before-I-think foot-in-my-mouth ask-for-forgiveness fool of a human.
I have a relationship with Jesus Christ, the Son of God who bought my sins for a price and died in my place.
Thus I understand that grace has taken my place and nothing in my life, not one thing I do nor say, can earn this kind of love. It is a free gift, received by me, and chosen daily. Jesus pursued me and loved me when I was at my worst. As humans, we look at each other's outer appearance but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).
This world and everything in it will one day fade away. If we have not yet established what we are living for, how will we know our reason to wake up each day? For in His Word, God establishes that, "He has made everything beautiful in its time" (Ecclesiastes 3:11). These "things" that are beautiful, that God establishes in time are set in the human heart so that no man may "fathom what God has done from beginning to end"(Ecclesiastes 3:11).
God goes before, establishes our paths for righteousness and justifies us to faith through salvation by His Son. It is the principle of grace alone that ties the bow to this package and makes this idea come to light.
Jesus refers to Himself as light in the book of John (John 1:4-5, 9; 3:19-21). Imagine sitting in the darkest room you've ever seen. Now imagine someone handing you a flashlight. Would not the first action you take be to turn on that flashlight? That flashlight without hesitation will shine into that space, encompassing the room in its entirety. This is exactly what Christ does when we give Him room to reign in our hearts. However, when we take bits and pieces from the Lord, and attempt foolish contempt of our personal lives without our Heavenly Father's consent, we are asking God to put a dimmer setting on that light. Foolishly, we are asking for bits back because we feel we can shine brighter than God.
Often times, I find myself in this very pattern of living. What God has been the most faithful in showing me is highlighting my weaknesses by giving them to me in someone else's strengths. It is critical as relational beings to be open to where the Lord is leading you in the area of relationships.
As an external processor, I am dating an internal processor. Are there moments I would prefer Jordan to think faster, to respond more quickly, to speak out loud? Yes. Am I thankful when he doesn't? Yes. In my heart and through the wisdom given me by the Holy Spirit, it is best when I remove myself emotionally from the situation and allow room for God to work. What is He teaching me here? How can I respond versus react? Where do I see room for growth in our relationship now?
God gives us conflict as an opportunity for resolution. What we do with these moments matters. Small conversations lead to big conversations and eventually bigger moments in a building relationship. Opportunities to resolve conflict are critical to follow the steps in this pattern. Figuring out how to deal with conflict means the difference between working it out and growing stagnant.
As I reflect on areas of my life that still need more work, I recognize that I am not perfect. I heed spiritual truth in Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and as such, the only way to the Father (John 14:6). While Jordan keeps me grounded, and continues to teach me many things in the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, he is not my Lord. In the spirit of intimate relationships, this is a truth I cling to: keep God as Your center so your life reflects your primary relationship is Christ in you. That way, people will see more of Christ and less of you, for "He must become greater; I must become less" (John 3:30).
I am an external processor. A say-before-I-think foot-in-my-mouth ask-for-forgiveness fool of a human.
I have a relationship with Jesus Christ, the Son of God who bought my sins for a price and died in my place.
Thus I understand that grace has taken my place and nothing in my life, not one thing I do nor say, can earn this kind of love. It is a free gift, received by me, and chosen daily. Jesus pursued me and loved me when I was at my worst. As humans, we look at each other's outer appearance but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).
This world and everything in it will one day fade away. If we have not yet established what we are living for, how will we know our reason to wake up each day? For in His Word, God establishes that, "He has made everything beautiful in its time" (Ecclesiastes 3:11). These "things" that are beautiful, that God establishes in time are set in the human heart so that no man may "fathom what God has done from beginning to end"(Ecclesiastes 3:11).
God goes before, establishes our paths for righteousness and justifies us to faith through salvation by His Son. It is the principle of grace alone that ties the bow to this package and makes this idea come to light.
Jesus refers to Himself as light in the book of John (John 1:4-5, 9; 3:19-21). Imagine sitting in the darkest room you've ever seen. Now imagine someone handing you a flashlight. Would not the first action you take be to turn on that flashlight? That flashlight without hesitation will shine into that space, encompassing the room in its entirety. This is exactly what Christ does when we give Him room to reign in our hearts. However, when we take bits and pieces from the Lord, and attempt foolish contempt of our personal lives without our Heavenly Father's consent, we are asking God to put a dimmer setting on that light. Foolishly, we are asking for bits back because we feel we can shine brighter than God.
Often times, I find myself in this very pattern of living. What God has been the most faithful in showing me is highlighting my weaknesses by giving them to me in someone else's strengths. It is critical as relational beings to be open to where the Lord is leading you in the area of relationships.
As an external processor, I am dating an internal processor. Are there moments I would prefer Jordan to think faster, to respond more quickly, to speak out loud? Yes. Am I thankful when he doesn't? Yes. In my heart and through the wisdom given me by the Holy Spirit, it is best when I remove myself emotionally from the situation and allow room for God to work. What is He teaching me here? How can I respond versus react? Where do I see room for growth in our relationship now?
God gives us conflict as an opportunity for resolution. What we do with these moments matters. Small conversations lead to big conversations and eventually bigger moments in a building relationship. Opportunities to resolve conflict are critical to follow the steps in this pattern. Figuring out how to deal with conflict means the difference between working it out and growing stagnant.
As I reflect on areas of my life that still need more work, I recognize that I am not perfect. I heed spiritual truth in Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and as such, the only way to the Father (John 14:6). While Jordan keeps me grounded, and continues to teach me many things in the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, he is not my Lord. In the spirit of intimate relationships, this is a truth I cling to: keep God as Your center so your life reflects your primary relationship is Christ in you. That way, people will see more of Christ and less of you, for "He must become greater; I must become less" (John 3:30).
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Beautiful in Time
The social norms making their way out of our current culture are evidently "YOLO, just do it, you do you" and the like. These broad spectrum sayings ironically all say the same thing. They all evidence a forum of thinking in which humanity is living for itself. The underlying theme is greed, which is manifested at nearly every corner in our capitalistic society.
This greed, originally shown for materialism, makes its way into relationships if not held in check. By the time teenagers graduate from high school, 50% have had premarital sex. While the "why" looks different for each person, the disorientation of our hearts remain the same. In the New Testament, Paul warns us of this very nature.
We are sinners, living in a fallen world. Human beings make it two chapters in harmony with the Lord before the world is a fallen place (Genesis 3). The Lord goes so far as to call it "cursed", warning Adam we will toil all the rest of our days (Genesis 3:17). Guilt and shame have entered earth and any harmony that once exists is no longer. It was for selfish pleasure that Eve first ate of the fruit. In Genesis 3:1-5, we learn in her interaction with the serpent prior to taking fruit from the tree that she knew the Lord had forbid anyone to eat of it. Out of disobedience, she chose for her own pleasure what would result in natural consequences and as a result sin enters the world.
The Lord calls followers of Christ into abstinence prior to making marital covenants. The marriage covenant, as it exists, is God's representation to us of Christ pursuing His bride. Paul writes in Romans 12:1 "Therefore, I urge you brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship." Paul goes on to tell the church at Corinth, while its people were in the midst of pagan worship, to "flee from sexual immorality" (1 Corinthians 6:18).
The living word is relevant and evident all over our society today. Most everyone knows at least one person by the time they graduate high school who has had sex, or is the person having sex. God would not write down, or choose to have others write down for Him these words if they were not going to continually be important. Our bodies serve as "temples of the Holy Spirit" (1 Corinthians 6:19). When we sin against our bodies, we sin against God's. However, God's voice goes vastly unheard as society gets louder and the church is marginalized.
The idea of waiting is antiquated, but it shouldn't be. It should be viewed exactly as God views it: as soul-love. Soul-love is something more than physical. Soul-love works because it is built on mutual submission and respect. In the proper context of marriage, where safety is involved, and a covenant has been established with the Lord, it is not something to be taken lightly, but that's what makes the point of purity beautiful. What's most worth waiting for is what God makes most beautiful to us and for us.
Not only as Christian women are we able to honor the Lord and our physical bodies, we are also able to honor our future spouses and each other. At some point, we are dating a man someone has dated before us. Our view on dating that man and how we treat him should be first and foremost for the Lord. We should honor his body the way we expect him to honor ours. If he's worth it, he'll be on board, waiting with you, because he values YOU more than he values your body.
Your purity is a gift and when in the context of marriage, to be given to the right person, is precious. The Lord desires your purity for you, so desire it for yourself! Society might tell you it is wrong, but God and your future husband will thank you. Whose opinion is more important?
This greed, originally shown for materialism, makes its way into relationships if not held in check. By the time teenagers graduate from high school, 50% have had premarital sex. While the "why" looks different for each person, the disorientation of our hearts remain the same. In the New Testament, Paul warns us of this very nature.
We are sinners, living in a fallen world. Human beings make it two chapters in harmony with the Lord before the world is a fallen place (Genesis 3). The Lord goes so far as to call it "cursed", warning Adam we will toil all the rest of our days (Genesis 3:17). Guilt and shame have entered earth and any harmony that once exists is no longer. It was for selfish pleasure that Eve first ate of the fruit. In Genesis 3:1-5, we learn in her interaction with the serpent prior to taking fruit from the tree that she knew the Lord had forbid anyone to eat of it. Out of disobedience, she chose for her own pleasure what would result in natural consequences and as a result sin enters the world.
The Lord calls followers of Christ into abstinence prior to making marital covenants. The marriage covenant, as it exists, is God's representation to us of Christ pursuing His bride. Paul writes in Romans 12:1 "Therefore, I urge you brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship." Paul goes on to tell the church at Corinth, while its people were in the midst of pagan worship, to "flee from sexual immorality" (1 Corinthians 6:18).
The living word is relevant and evident all over our society today. Most everyone knows at least one person by the time they graduate high school who has had sex, or is the person having sex. God would not write down, or choose to have others write down for Him these words if they were not going to continually be important. Our bodies serve as "temples of the Holy Spirit" (1 Corinthians 6:19). When we sin against our bodies, we sin against God's. However, God's voice goes vastly unheard as society gets louder and the church is marginalized.
The idea of waiting is antiquated, but it shouldn't be. It should be viewed exactly as God views it: as soul-love. Soul-love is something more than physical. Soul-love works because it is built on mutual submission and respect. In the proper context of marriage, where safety is involved, and a covenant has been established with the Lord, it is not something to be taken lightly, but that's what makes the point of purity beautiful. What's most worth waiting for is what God makes most beautiful to us and for us.
Not only as Christian women are we able to honor the Lord and our physical bodies, we are also able to honor our future spouses and each other. At some point, we are dating a man someone has dated before us. Our view on dating that man and how we treat him should be first and foremost for the Lord. We should honor his body the way we expect him to honor ours. If he's worth it, he'll be on board, waiting with you, because he values YOU more than he values your body.
Your purity is a gift and when in the context of marriage, to be given to the right person, is precious. The Lord desires your purity for you, so desire it for yourself! Society might tell you it is wrong, but God and your future husband will thank you. Whose opinion is more important?
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Fallen for You
Fall is upon us. The season of football, all things pumpkin-spice, cooler temperatures and cozy sweaters. I gain critics as I write these words because the high in sunny Scottsdale, Arizona today is 95 degrees. 95 doesn't fit with this theme of fall as outlined above. Women in the North, South and East wonder how we ever live here at this time of year.
Boots and sweaters are released to retail stores in August along with the rest of fall fashion wear, where it remains on the racks until the end of November. In Scottsdale, Arizona, however, 95 degrees is cooler weather. There is no notable climate change where women wake in the morning, glance out the window at another sunny day in the valley and think, "today would be perfect for a pair of leggings, sweater, scarf and my favorite boots". However, those of us who enjoy fall fashions join the rest of the country and adorn the styles while mildly sweating through them.
Fall serves not only as a change in temperature and climate but also in a broader aspect of the term season. New policies are being established each fall within our government, candidates are ploying for votes and as individuals, we are looking ahead to the new year and goals that time will bring. Typically, fall is the season when we are ready for God to strike a cord in our hearts.
Last fall, the Lord did exactly that with me. God nudged my spiritual growth by testing every comfort measure I knew in my relationships around me. This included placing me in a romantic relationship. Enter Jordan.
For three months prior to meeting Jordan, God prepared my heart by purging me of past misconceptions and rewiring my spirit to value one of the most important biblical truths in His design for men and women regarding relationships: women are to be pursued. Biblically speaking, women are "worth far more than rubies" and "a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"(Proverbs 31:10, 30).
Even the nature of how Jordan and I met sings praises to God's penmanship. God has a sense of humor. Here He is teaching me a lesson about being pursued and where do we meet? Online. Because God taught me the value of being a woman and being pursued, I knew my worth. I was not going to give that away freely. This is where God worked in the nuances of our love story and allowed me to trust Him working in Jordan so much more.
The Lord answered my prayers in almost exactly the order I prayed them. God showed me how eagerly Jordan was seeking Him and gave us multiple conversations and contexts in which to speak about His Son. In moments when I tried to push Jordan away, the Lord moved him closer to me but gently. Jordan remained firm in his stance and did not waiver on his intention with me.
Date one I was dying to have a heavy spiritual conversation with Jordan, but I thought "Hey you know that one man that died to save us all and hung on a cross so we could live? Yeah, well He's the only way to get to heaven and if you deny Him, you deny His Kingdom and everything in it" might not fit in well after, "I'm Alex, nice to meet you". Looking back, I am so thankful I did not do this. It allowed space for Jordan to act as the spiritual leader in our relationship as we developed one and gave God time to move Jordan into a genuine relationship with Him. It also allowed me to see the genuineness of this relationship.
The day Jordan told me he had accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior was the morning after our first fight. It gets better. It was the night after I told Jordan I couldn't love him. Ever. Just like that. We should have been done there, but God had different plans. God had plans for us. God believed in us together. God knew what each of us needed, that we are complete and alive only in the Lord but are better and more powerful for His Kingdom when we serve in community with one another.
Even with this fallible comment, Jordan pursued me through it. That is true love and only comes from having the Holy Spirit. We center our lives and relationship around the Lord and have found that together it is our strength and redemption.
This was the tipping point in our relationship when I understood the difference between active pursuance and a chase. A chase is one-sided and can be stopped at any moment, usually when one party is bored. Pursuance takes work and effort and is an active daily grind for both parties. The man will intentionally pursue a woman's heart when he puts God first, meets her needs above his own, shows her love in difficult situations and reminds her gently of his leadership and biblical role. He will ask that she in return choose God above all else and in doing so earn her respect. In addition, he will not play games. When a man pursues a woman as designed biblically, it resembles honor, love, grace and intention. The specific actions may change within individual relationships because each couple is unique. One underlying theme that will remain consistent is these principles within the relationship. That is what Jordan taught and continues to teach me daily as I have the privilege of watching him pursue me the way God intended His bride to be pursued.
I hope one day to be Jordan's bride. Until that day comes, I will continue learning grace, honor, patience, and gentleness from him. I will learn what it is to be pursued and hope I can pursue him in an equally godly fashion. This fall season, I've definitely fallen for him.
Boots and sweaters are released to retail stores in August along with the rest of fall fashion wear, where it remains on the racks until the end of November. In Scottsdale, Arizona, however, 95 degrees is cooler weather. There is no notable climate change where women wake in the morning, glance out the window at another sunny day in the valley and think, "today would be perfect for a pair of leggings, sweater, scarf and my favorite boots". However, those of us who enjoy fall fashions join the rest of the country and adorn the styles while mildly sweating through them.
Fall serves not only as a change in temperature and climate but also in a broader aspect of the term season. New policies are being established each fall within our government, candidates are ploying for votes and as individuals, we are looking ahead to the new year and goals that time will bring. Typically, fall is the season when we are ready for God to strike a cord in our hearts.
Last fall, the Lord did exactly that with me. God nudged my spiritual growth by testing every comfort measure I knew in my relationships around me. This included placing me in a romantic relationship. Enter Jordan.
For three months prior to meeting Jordan, God prepared my heart by purging me of past misconceptions and rewiring my spirit to value one of the most important biblical truths in His design for men and women regarding relationships: women are to be pursued. Biblically speaking, women are "worth far more than rubies" and "a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"(Proverbs 31:10, 30).
Even the nature of how Jordan and I met sings praises to God's penmanship. God has a sense of humor. Here He is teaching me a lesson about being pursued and where do we meet? Online. Because God taught me the value of being a woman and being pursued, I knew my worth. I was not going to give that away freely. This is where God worked in the nuances of our love story and allowed me to trust Him working in Jordan so much more.
The Lord answered my prayers in almost exactly the order I prayed them. God showed me how eagerly Jordan was seeking Him and gave us multiple conversations and contexts in which to speak about His Son. In moments when I tried to push Jordan away, the Lord moved him closer to me but gently. Jordan remained firm in his stance and did not waiver on his intention with me.
Date one I was dying to have a heavy spiritual conversation with Jordan, but I thought "Hey you know that one man that died to save us all and hung on a cross so we could live? Yeah, well He's the only way to get to heaven and if you deny Him, you deny His Kingdom and everything in it" might not fit in well after, "I'm Alex, nice to meet you". Looking back, I am so thankful I did not do this. It allowed space for Jordan to act as the spiritual leader in our relationship as we developed one and gave God time to move Jordan into a genuine relationship with Him. It also allowed me to see the genuineness of this relationship.
The day Jordan told me he had accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior was the morning after our first fight. It gets better. It was the night after I told Jordan I couldn't love him. Ever. Just like that. We should have been done there, but God had different plans. God had plans for us. God believed in us together. God knew what each of us needed, that we are complete and alive only in the Lord but are better and more powerful for His Kingdom when we serve in community with one another.
Even with this fallible comment, Jordan pursued me through it. That is true love and only comes from having the Holy Spirit. We center our lives and relationship around the Lord and have found that together it is our strength and redemption.
This was the tipping point in our relationship when I understood the difference between active pursuance and a chase. A chase is one-sided and can be stopped at any moment, usually when one party is bored. Pursuance takes work and effort and is an active daily grind for both parties. The man will intentionally pursue a woman's heart when he puts God first, meets her needs above his own, shows her love in difficult situations and reminds her gently of his leadership and biblical role. He will ask that she in return choose God above all else and in doing so earn her respect. In addition, he will not play games. When a man pursues a woman as designed biblically, it resembles honor, love, grace and intention. The specific actions may change within individual relationships because each couple is unique. One underlying theme that will remain consistent is these principles within the relationship. That is what Jordan taught and continues to teach me daily as I have the privilege of watching him pursue me the way God intended His bride to be pursued.
I hope one day to be Jordan's bride. Until that day comes, I will continue learning grace, honor, patience, and gentleness from him. I will learn what it is to be pursued and hope I can pursue him in an equally godly fashion. This fall season, I've definitely fallen for him.
Thursday, September 15, 2016
With Every Breath
The nature of being a pediatric nurse is one with many variables. Days constitute long hours, various patient care activities, and a knack for time-management and keeping on-schedule. This particular day on the job was no different.
I received report from the night shift nurse leaving and began working in each of my patients' rooms. After starting my morning with the usual nursing care activities, I was able to sneak into each room to have a conversation about the plan of care with my parents and patients regarding the flow of the day. This is my favorite part of my job as it allows me to teach critical nursing concerns as well as establish personal relations with those I am there to serve.
Every morning on my way to work, I ask the Lord to grant me opportunities to speak of His Son. I pray for moments to share my faith with others, remembering we do not work for human masters but for the Lord (Colossians 3:23). Often times, these conversations start contingently. One common thread within each opportunity, however, is God's pervasive glory.
In my first room of the day, the mom of my patient glanced at my tattoo and asked me to explain the decision behind it. On my inner wrist is a cross and the word 'grace'. I sat down in her room and told her that the decision idled between two words, yet my understanding of grace as unmerited favor overruled my desire for all other options. We were able to continue our conversation to the point that I learned she was just considering coming back to Christ after walking away for several years in her adolescence. She wanted to know if I had a similar testimony.
The Lord opened the door for me to share with this woman that doubting His Presence is not something I have personally struggled with. At that moment, she told me with unwavering confidence that she wanted to reaccept Christ as her Savior. She said just that morning she prayed to meet a believer who "walked by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7).
Later on, I received a special visitor. As a nurse on a chronic floor, we are prone to receiving the same patients for multiple admissions. The mother of one of my chronic kids came to visit me at work this day. Her purpose was gift-bearing, but it was her words that made an impact. She left me with conversation that her daughter had rounded a corner to healing and thanked me for remaining "joyful in hope, constant in tribulation, faithful in prayer" (Romans 12:12).
This particular mother was someone who accepted Christ personally for herself after watching her daughter's witness and faith lived out in the hospital. I served on her primary nurse list and therefore had many opportunities to pray at bedside for both the patient and mother. Her last remark upon leaving was an expression of gratitude for my bold expression of Jesus, which she claims led her to Christ.
When we choose to live life in surrender and boldly pursue our cross with honor, God will give us ample opportunities to pursue His Son. I prayed 1 1/2 years for this mom to come to Christ. Those will remain some of the sweetest words I'll ever hear because they were words sought earnestly for Christ's Kingdom. While we cannot elicit a response to the gospel, we can unashamedly share it, and share it we must.
I received report from the night shift nurse leaving and began working in each of my patients' rooms. After starting my morning with the usual nursing care activities, I was able to sneak into each room to have a conversation about the plan of care with my parents and patients regarding the flow of the day. This is my favorite part of my job as it allows me to teach critical nursing concerns as well as establish personal relations with those I am there to serve.
Every morning on my way to work, I ask the Lord to grant me opportunities to speak of His Son. I pray for moments to share my faith with others, remembering we do not work for human masters but for the Lord (Colossians 3:23). Often times, these conversations start contingently. One common thread within each opportunity, however, is God's pervasive glory.
In my first room of the day, the mom of my patient glanced at my tattoo and asked me to explain the decision behind it. On my inner wrist is a cross and the word 'grace'. I sat down in her room and told her that the decision idled between two words, yet my understanding of grace as unmerited favor overruled my desire for all other options. We were able to continue our conversation to the point that I learned she was just considering coming back to Christ after walking away for several years in her adolescence. She wanted to know if I had a similar testimony.
The Lord opened the door for me to share with this woman that doubting His Presence is not something I have personally struggled with. At that moment, she told me with unwavering confidence that she wanted to reaccept Christ as her Savior. She said just that morning she prayed to meet a believer who "walked by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7).
Later on, I received a special visitor. As a nurse on a chronic floor, we are prone to receiving the same patients for multiple admissions. The mother of one of my chronic kids came to visit me at work this day. Her purpose was gift-bearing, but it was her words that made an impact. She left me with conversation that her daughter had rounded a corner to healing and thanked me for remaining "joyful in hope, constant in tribulation, faithful in prayer" (Romans 12:12).
This particular mother was someone who accepted Christ personally for herself after watching her daughter's witness and faith lived out in the hospital. I served on her primary nurse list and therefore had many opportunities to pray at bedside for both the patient and mother. Her last remark upon leaving was an expression of gratitude for my bold expression of Jesus, which she claims led her to Christ.
When we choose to live life in surrender and boldly pursue our cross with honor, God will give us ample opportunities to pursue His Son. I prayed 1 1/2 years for this mom to come to Christ. Those will remain some of the sweetest words I'll ever hear because they were words sought earnestly for Christ's Kingdom. While we cannot elicit a response to the gospel, we can unashamedly share it, and share it we must.
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Rhythm of Grace
There are times change comes before we recognize it. It blindsides us, taking rhythm completely out of the picture. That's what February has been for me. At first, I attempted to hide the magnitude of the situation by taking it on in solitude. How often is isolation exactly where the enemy wants us? In his craftiness, he attempts to misguide us (Proverbs 3:7), feeding us lies about handling it better on our own. However, as relational and spiritual beings, we are created for relational and spiritual responses. That being said, in the spirit of "power, love and self-discipline", step forward and seek comfort in fellowship and knowledge of other believers (2 Timothy 1:7). The comfort offered here is unparalleled because of the ability of the Lord to enter into those crevices and meld your heart to His. He calls us into specific times of prayer, mourning and rejoicing as His creation rectifies us in these situations with community (James 4:7-10).
Child of God, the enemy is the master of deceit. Take Eve, for example; his cunning tricked her not into physical death but spiritual death and eternal separation from her heavenly Father (Genesis 3:1, 4-5). Do not fall prey to isolation. Remain privy to the enemy's strategies and aware of the power of prayer, "for where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them" (Matthew 18:19-20).
The power of prayer is something I recently pored over. God shot a dart into my heart and his vestiges ran deep. The aftermath of these lessons have been powerful.
For a short time, I lost my ability to concentrate and remained in an almost constant state of dizziness and disorientation. This would be discovered shortly thereafter as being caused by seizures. When not dizzy nor disoriented, I couldn't stop falling asleep. Between hospitalizations and appointments, no medical professionals had answers. I stopped listening to God and was in a fret about not being able to do enough. I had already bought into the enemy's lie that I needed to handle this on my own, for calling on help or fellowship would be insulting to the King of Kings. God's divine intervention turned this around for me.
During this time, God brought prayer warriors alongside me to teach me the difference between listening to Him and listening for Him. He opened my heart to the concept of spiritual rest and opened my eyes to His tenderhearted power being made perfect in my weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9). God reminded me what trust is and painted the most beautiful picture of fellowship I have ever experienced. Not only that, the Lord aptly answered prayers through unexpected avenues the more open I was to receiving help.
I am a server by nature, therefore, receiving help is difficult for me. It makes me feel vulnerable and burdensome. While still in a resting state, God gently reminded me that Jesus came to this world as a babe. He walked me through the process of allowing others' in so that they may more adequately experience His Son's love. In the body of Christ, it is a duty, honor and privilege to serve others but also to be served. God used my physical healing to demonstrate this concept to me. I am so thankful for this particular trial. I shall boast all the more now that my weaknesses only increase His strength, "so the last will be first, and the first will be last" (Matthew 20:16).
Grace as unmerited favor is readily and always available for anyone seeking it. The rhythm of grace is intimate and my increased understanding of the depth of prayer connects this concept spiritually. Prior to this particular health issue, these concepts had never interacted. Without the urgency to draw this conclusion, I fear I would not understand it with the same logic. There is so much truth to the phrase "everything beautiful in its time". As benefactor, God brings each piece of the puzzle together to intricately glorify His creation and we benefit. 'Tis the sweetest sound I've ever heard.
Child of God, the enemy is the master of deceit. Take Eve, for example; his cunning tricked her not into physical death but spiritual death and eternal separation from her heavenly Father (Genesis 3:1, 4-5). Do not fall prey to isolation. Remain privy to the enemy's strategies and aware of the power of prayer, "for where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them" (Matthew 18:19-20).
The power of prayer is something I recently pored over. God shot a dart into my heart and his vestiges ran deep. The aftermath of these lessons have been powerful.
For a short time, I lost my ability to concentrate and remained in an almost constant state of dizziness and disorientation. This would be discovered shortly thereafter as being caused by seizures. When not dizzy nor disoriented, I couldn't stop falling asleep. Between hospitalizations and appointments, no medical professionals had answers. I stopped listening to God and was in a fret about not being able to do enough. I had already bought into the enemy's lie that I needed to handle this on my own, for calling on help or fellowship would be insulting to the King of Kings. God's divine intervention turned this around for me.
During this time, God brought prayer warriors alongside me to teach me the difference between listening to Him and listening for Him. He opened my heart to the concept of spiritual rest and opened my eyes to His tenderhearted power being made perfect in my weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9). God reminded me what trust is and painted the most beautiful picture of fellowship I have ever experienced. Not only that, the Lord aptly answered prayers through unexpected avenues the more open I was to receiving help.
I am a server by nature, therefore, receiving help is difficult for me. It makes me feel vulnerable and burdensome. While still in a resting state, God gently reminded me that Jesus came to this world as a babe. He walked me through the process of allowing others' in so that they may more adequately experience His Son's love. In the body of Christ, it is a duty, honor and privilege to serve others but also to be served. God used my physical healing to demonstrate this concept to me. I am so thankful for this particular trial. I shall boast all the more now that my weaknesses only increase His strength, "so the last will be first, and the first will be last" (Matthew 20:16).
Grace as unmerited favor is readily and always available for anyone seeking it. The rhythm of grace is intimate and my increased understanding of the depth of prayer connects this concept spiritually. Prior to this particular health issue, these concepts had never interacted. Without the urgency to draw this conclusion, I fear I would not understand it with the same logic. There is so much truth to the phrase "everything beautiful in its time". As benefactor, God brings each piece of the puzzle together to intricately glorify His creation and we benefit. 'Tis the sweetest sound I've ever heard.
Friday, January 29, 2016
The Varied It.
There it is, can you hear it? It floats by, a whisper in the wind. It's calling you but not outright. It threatens your existence this very day. It tells you lies and plants seeds of doubt. You try to ignore it but it lurks on every corner. You try to outrun it but it paces just ahead of you. It never runs out of endurance. You try to bury it, which only brings you guilt and shame. What is it? Why is it still here? That, my friend, is the enemy, roaring its nasty head like a lion. It has come that it might make a holy vessel unholy (Daniel 5:2-3). It has come to drag your heart to the dark side. Let me be the first to tell you, the Lord does not take rest and He does not grow weary (Isaiah 40:28). Come bear its weight on Him and He will fight this battle for you! He will not forget how many times the enemy threatens and dismantles His children.
There it is, can you hear it? It floats by, a whisper in the wind. It's calling you but not outright. This time it is different. It offers healing and love. There is a sense of urgency within it but it is never forceful. It steps out ahead of you, offering to shield your way (Ephesians 6:13-16). The way It speaks, you know It understands. It offers your will above its own. It is simultaneously everywhere at once. How can it be? That is the Lord God, Your Almighty Savior. He has come in three parts, all unique within One Body. He is the Holy Trinity, the perfect Living Sacrifice, offering Himself in your place in Father, Son and Holy Spirit. He begs to take your place, offering Himself as ransom in your shoes. Never forceful, never tempting.
There it is, can you feel it? It does not envy or boast. It is not proud nor dishonoring. It is not self-seeking nor easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. It delights solely in speaking with provision. It vows to keep the whole truth, to protect and prosper you. It puts its trust in hope and perseveres each day. It never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). What is it? That is love, given to you as a good and perfect gift from above (James 1:17). It is freely given, intended to honor you. It moves your heart to generosity and brings tears to your eyes. It makes you laugh and allows you to choose life with abandon.
There it is, can you feel it? It pursues you, chooses you, lifts you up when you feel incapable of standing on your own (1 Timothy 1:10). It lights the lamp unto your feet and walks with you to the Father (Psalm 119:105). It strengthens itself amongst imperfections and requires nothing in return. What is it? That is grace. Bathe in it and receive it, for it is freely given at the ultimate price. It is free to all who choose to accept this gift. It sets you free and bestows a new path for your walk with the Father.
There it is, can you feel it? It floats by, a whisper in the wind. It is Jesus Christ, calling your name at the heavenly realm. It is real and it is now. He calls you there, before His Father, having offered Himself the Living Sacrifice. He asks you what you've done with It. Welcome to the Father, child, for this is living. What will you do with It?
There it is, can you hear it? It floats by, a whisper in the wind. It's calling you but not outright. This time it is different. It offers healing and love. There is a sense of urgency within it but it is never forceful. It steps out ahead of you, offering to shield your way (Ephesians 6:13-16). The way It speaks, you know It understands. It offers your will above its own. It is simultaneously everywhere at once. How can it be? That is the Lord God, Your Almighty Savior. He has come in three parts, all unique within One Body. He is the Holy Trinity, the perfect Living Sacrifice, offering Himself in your place in Father, Son and Holy Spirit. He begs to take your place, offering Himself as ransom in your shoes. Never forceful, never tempting.
There it is, can you feel it? It does not envy or boast. It is not proud nor dishonoring. It is not self-seeking nor easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. It delights solely in speaking with provision. It vows to keep the whole truth, to protect and prosper you. It puts its trust in hope and perseveres each day. It never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). What is it? That is love, given to you as a good and perfect gift from above (James 1:17). It is freely given, intended to honor you. It moves your heart to generosity and brings tears to your eyes. It makes you laugh and allows you to choose life with abandon.
There it is, can you feel it? It pursues you, chooses you, lifts you up when you feel incapable of standing on your own (1 Timothy 1:10). It lights the lamp unto your feet and walks with you to the Father (Psalm 119:105). It strengthens itself amongst imperfections and requires nothing in return. What is it? That is grace. Bathe in it and receive it, for it is freely given at the ultimate price. It is free to all who choose to accept this gift. It sets you free and bestows a new path for your walk with the Father.
There it is, can you feel it? It floats by, a whisper in the wind. It is Jesus Christ, calling your name at the heavenly realm. It is real and it is now. He calls you there, before His Father, having offered Himself the Living Sacrifice. He asks you what you've done with It. Welcome to the Father, child, for this is living. What will you do with It?
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