Fall is upon us. The season of football, all things pumpkin-spice, cooler temperatures and cozy sweaters. I gain critics as I write these words because the high in sunny Scottsdale, Arizona today is 95 degrees. 95 doesn't fit with this theme of fall as outlined above. Women in the North, South and East wonder how we ever live here at this time of year.
Boots and sweaters are released to retail stores in August along with the rest of fall fashion wear, where it remains on the racks until the end of November. In Scottsdale, Arizona, however, 95 degrees is cooler weather. There is no notable climate change where women wake in the morning, glance out the window at another sunny day in the valley and think, "today would be perfect for a pair of leggings, sweater, scarf and my favorite boots". However, those of us who enjoy fall fashions join the rest of the country and adorn the styles while mildly sweating through them.
Fall serves not only as a change in temperature and climate but also in a broader aspect of the term season. New policies are being established each fall within our government, candidates are ploying for votes and as individuals, we are looking ahead to the new year and goals that time will bring. Typically, fall is the season when we are ready for God to strike a cord in our hearts.
Last fall, the Lord did exactly that with me. God nudged my spiritual growth by testing every comfort measure I knew in my relationships around me. This included placing me in a romantic relationship. Enter Jordan.
For three months prior to meeting Jordan, God prepared my heart by purging me of past misconceptions and rewiring my spirit to value one of the most important biblical truths in His design for men and women regarding relationships: women are to be pursued. Biblically speaking, women are "worth far more than rubies" and "a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"(Proverbs 31:10, 30).
Even the nature of how Jordan and I met sings praises to God's penmanship. God has a sense of humor. Here He is teaching me a lesson about being pursued and where do we meet? Online. Because God taught me the value of being a woman and being pursued, I knew my worth. I was not going to give that away freely. This is where God worked in the nuances of our love story and allowed me to trust Him working in Jordan so much more.
The Lord answered my prayers in almost exactly the order I prayed them. God showed me how eagerly Jordan was seeking Him and gave us multiple conversations and contexts in which to speak about His Son. In moments when I tried to push Jordan away, the Lord moved him closer to me but gently. Jordan remained firm in his stance and did not waiver on his intention with me.
Date one I was dying to have a heavy spiritual conversation with Jordan, but I thought "Hey you know that one man that died to save us all and hung on a cross so we could live? Yeah, well He's the only way to get to heaven and if you deny Him, you deny His Kingdom and everything in it" might not fit in well after, "I'm Alex, nice to meet you". Looking back, I am so thankful I did not do this. It allowed space for Jordan to act as the spiritual leader in our relationship as we developed one and gave God time to move Jordan into a genuine relationship with Him. It also allowed me to see the genuineness of this relationship.
The day Jordan told me he had accepted Jesus Christ as his Savior was the morning after our first fight. It gets better. It was the night after I told Jordan I couldn't love him. Ever. Just like that. We should have been done there, but God had different plans. God had plans for us. God believed in us together. God knew what each of us needed, that we are complete and alive only in the Lord but are better and more powerful for His Kingdom when we serve in community with one another.
Even with this fallible comment, Jordan pursued me through it. That is true love and only comes from having the Holy Spirit. We center our lives and relationship around the Lord and have found that together it is our strength and redemption.
This was the tipping point in our relationship when I understood the difference between active pursuance and a chase. A chase is one-sided and can be stopped at any moment, usually when one party is bored. Pursuance takes work and effort and is an active daily grind for both parties. The man will intentionally pursue a woman's heart when he puts God first, meets her needs above his own, shows her love in difficult situations and reminds her gently of his leadership and biblical role. He will ask that she in return choose God above all else and in doing so earn her respect. In addition, he will not play games. When a man pursues a woman as designed biblically, it resembles honor, love, grace and intention. The specific actions may change within individual relationships because each couple is unique. One underlying theme that will remain consistent is these principles within the relationship. That is what Jordan taught and continues to teach me daily as I have the privilege of watching him pursue me the way God intended His bride to be pursued.
I hope one day to be Jordan's bride. Until that day comes, I will continue learning grace, honor, patience, and gentleness from him. I will learn what it is to be pursued and hope I can pursue him in an equally godly fashion. This fall season, I've definitely fallen for him.
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