Bon Voyage

#BecomingBenin. #HaveMercy. #MercyShips. I smiled to myself as hashtags floated through my mind. On January 7, 2017 I was scheduled for departure to the West Coast of Africa for so far the greatest adventure yet: joining Mercy Ships aboard the Africa Mercy as a missionary pediatric nurse.

If you know me well, my dream is not to serve as a nurse overseas, rather to help those in need. To literally be God's hands and feet for the powerless and oppressed, empowering God's people by bringing Him glory. As it says in Romans 10:15, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

For nearly two and a half years, specifically one concentrated year, I researched and begot information regarding the application process of Mercy Ships.  I waited in my role at Phoenix Children's until I met eligibility to apply, gathered the necessary letters of recommendation and turned in a completed application in December 2015.

In January of 2016, I met my now-fiance. From the get-go, I spoke openly about the time I would spend in Africa. As the Lord worked it into Jordan's life, it became our story. Throughout the entire process, Jordan prayed with me, stuck by my side and was as faithful to my dream in Africa as I was.

In February of 2016, I was diagnosed with seizures, "nonepileptic" the doctors told me. Hospitalized for Superbowl weekend, I knew God was about to do something big. And He delivered. I fell in love with Jordan within the next six weeks as he sternly told me he wasn't going anywhere.

In April of 2016, I was officially accepted onboard Mercy Ships and medically cleared. My dream had come true. I spoke to my boss immediately praying for her heart to receive the news openly. The Lord allowed me to see her receive it well and from there the plan was set.  I would quit my job with a 30-day notice before taking off for Africa, and reapply upon my return to Arizona. I followed through with this in the time frame of mid-December, serving my last day as a Phoenix Children's nurse on December 20, 2016.

I prepped my heart, going through seasons where I literally did not want to go to Africa, particularly starting on Halloween after Jordan proposed and I started a season of wedding planning on top of prepping final details for Africa. However, God was faithful through it all and everything came together up until the last day. Literally, the last day.

On January 6, 2017, I received word 15 hours before I was scheduled for takeoff via conference call with the Chief Medical Officer that I was no longer medically cleared on the Mercy Ships side. Even though I had obtained proper medical clearance from my US doctors, they did not believe it safe for me to serve on board. Now, did I know God had His hand on this? Yes. Did I still have a hard time with it? Yes.

What is human nature if I sit here and tell you I accepted it with full grace and didn't feel hurt, pain, anger, disappointment? I felt and still feel all of these things. But I can also say with confidence that God is protecting me from something. His plan is greater than mine, and His purpose is bigger than mine.

Now, as I sit back in the valley, wondering where the Lord wants me next, I can't help but smile. He has greater plans for me, but as a planner, I can't see them. In fact, I can't see anything because outside of my amazing community of family and friends, nothing exists in my planner. There's nothing to write down, I'm always available, I don't have a job, and I can't schedule anything out.

I wave bon voyage to one dream, but I kiss tomorrow good morning as I waste no time yearning for new mercies on my soul (Lamentations 3:22-23). Thank the Lord He provides this to us each and every day. For as I've learned through His word, "we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).

God calls me to His purpose, even if it's not how I would do things. So I pray for peace and prosperity here and that I would not have blinders on so that my eyes would be open to the good.